Meet Robert Xiansheng

APRIL 27, 2007: Our driver is a crazy man. He also loves me a lot, yelling "Zhu Hong-Bing!" excitedly and slapping me on the back every time he sees me (this applies even where there are multiple encounters throughout the day).

Here, the ridiculously wide roads are the savannah and the cars most definitely the lions. Crosswalk markings are in practice there to warn drivers: "Here a pedestrian might hit your car and cause damage." And Robert Xiansheng's the absolute embodiment of China's car-is-king attitude. His driving of the school's prized 9-seat people mover is probably best described as 'highly-strung' - it's as skillful as it is reckless. As a righteous fellow who takes his duties seriously, the later we are for our classes at the high school, the more recklessly Robert Xiansheng drives. In turn, the more he weaves through tiny gaps in traffic, cuts off taxis, squeezes out motorbikes and swerves to avoid pedestrians, donkey carts and struggling 3-wheelers, the more he honks the horn. During particularly reckless manouevres he simply holds the horn down, sometimes up to about 15 seconds. This theoretically counterbalances some of the recklessness. The Chinese habit of NEVER wearing a seatbelt undoes this excellent honking, however.

Many people who are only semi-rich decide to hire a full-time driver rather than learn to drive. So there's a whole class of pros out there, dominating. Robert Xiansheng is one of those. The bottom line is he always gets us there on time, despite the unspeakably difficult traffic.

But while Robert Xiansheng will never let us be dropped off late, this afternoon he forgot to pick us up. We're waiting for about 15 minutes then we just jump into a taxi. We've just set off when Boxxy speaks to the secretary back at the headquarters who tells us Robert Xiansheng is still there, nearly 15 minutes' drive away. Boxxy explains we are already on our way back in a taxi but finishes the call expressing uncertainly as to whether the message has gotten through. "It sounded like she said something about, 'He's coming here,'," Boxxy says, prompting groans from the Swiss teacher and i. Just five minutes later, as the taxi is trundling along the bumpiest, most pot-holed road in town - one on which even the most careful driver must perform a swerving slalom - a crazy people-mover roars past, horn blaring over and over, cuts us off and slams on the brakes, forcing the taxi driver to follow suit. And out jumps Robert Xiansheng sporting a toothy grin as wide as the streets he commands.