The capital on the front line

JULY 27, 2008: Vientiane is on the north bank of the Mekong River, opposite Thailand. Photos

That is to say, the capital city of Laos lies right on its own border. A rather bad position, you'd think, from which to resist an invasion of foreign capitalists just across the river.

And invade they do - in swarms. In the central city area of Vientiane it's common to pass 10 or more foreigners without a Lao in sight. And that Lao you do see - he might well be Thai.



More than half of them are of the turtle on 2 legs type, the rest being mainly oldie package tourists, diplomats or aid executives. All of this against a backdrop of gentrified colonial buildings and immaculate new roads and sidewalk paving.

It's fucking insane. When we arrived we tried well over 10 hotels and "guest houses" (in quotes because many of them charge 5-star luxury prices - I'm not kidding, US$150+ a night); the decent ones were 3 to 5 times the amount we'd been paying (and could afford), and all the shitty cheap ones were full.

We ended up in a backpackers that really, richly deserves that world-renowned certification: "urine-soaked hellhole". When you enter, you're told to take off your shoes. Why that is I can't imagine. The pavements outside are clearly cleaner.

A husband and wife couple run it. That means a little girl of about 12 works day and night to try to maintain it in the face of overwhelming backpacker filth, while the husband chills on a couch and the wife plays Super Mario 3. And takes the money. The little girl was working in the afternoon, the evening, the morning and at midday.

Child slave labour aside, our Australian dorm-mate, who was one of those people who just leaves a strange and uncomfortable serial-killer impression when you talk to them, said he'd been living there for 4 months, despite the stench.

We got up early, bought breakfast and staked out one of the shitty hotels nearby, and sprung into action at the first sign of a checking-out.

After six days the most interesting attraction of Vientiane I've found is the enormous Arc de Triomph copy in the centre of town.


The strangest thing about it is its denigration by those who own and maintain it. A sign in the entrance reads:

"At the northeastern end of the LaneXang Ave. arises a huge structure resembling the Arc de Triomphe.

"It is the Patuxay or Victory Gate of Vientiane. Built in 1962 (B.E. 2505),but never complete due to the country's turbulent history. From a closer distance it appears even less impressive, like a monster of concrete.

"Nowadays this place is used as leisure ground for the people of Vientiane and the seventh floor on top of the building serves as an excellent view point over the city."

Oddly, I saw no sign of incompleteness, and I certainly didn't find it unimpressive. From afar it looks basically just like the Arc. Up close its traditional Buddhist styles are even more impressive. The Ankor Wat-style carvings/French arrogance combo works fascinatingly well.





Apparently Vientiane used to be pretty much the center of Laos but Thailand muscled in in the last couple of centuries and took a large chunk to the south of the Mekong. Indochina's history is certainly war-torn and bloody enough to compare with the Balkans, but these people somehow just don't seem to pass on grudges.